奏~獨身進行曲

作者  teamilktea (吶諾諾)   看板  wisdom


越是理所當然存在的人  越是重要。

------------------------------------------------ 

句子是出我自己..
                                                                               
最近才有勇氣面對這個事實。 
                                                                               
前兩年的冬天， 
                                                                               
我的阿媽住院， 
                                                                               
她是一個很堅強隱忍的女人， 
                                                                               
不是痛的沒辦法忍受，她是不會說出來， 
                                                                               
但是隨著老人家的年紀一天一天年長，住院的次數也逐漸增多 
                                                                               
所以，也從擔心慢慢轉到平常心面對， 
                                                                               
那天下課，我到醫院探望她， 
                                                                               
她看到我一來，笑的兩頰紅嘟嘟的， 
                                                                               
眼睛瞇成灣月形，我說什麼她都笑得很開懷， 

天色不早，我就跟阿媽說， 
                                                                               
「那我先回家了，你要好好養病，等你病好，我再帶你愛吃的關東煮去看妳。」 
                                                                               
她笑得很開心，點頭說好， 
                                                                               
一個禮拜後阿媽出院了， 
                                                                               
我說有報告要寫，期末考快到了，下次吧。 
                                                                               
日子一天天的拖延， 
                                                                               
就在某個半夜，阿媽就又住院了， 
                                                                               
情況危急，衝倒醫院的急診室門口，一大群親戚盤守著， 
                                                                               
十幾個人的小空間，卻只有抽搭搭的聲音， 
                                                                               
腦死。醫生說。我紅了眼眶。 
                                                                               
後來一年過了，我再次經過那間老關東煮店， 
                                                                               
突然想起我跟阿媽約好的關東煮， 

原來我一直把這些事視為理所當然， 
                                                                               
理所當然，阿媽會在舊家的店門口，看著人來人往。 
                                                                               
理所當然，她會在每次我去找她的時候，先問我有沒有變瘦， 
                                                                               
如果沒有她就會露出她的大腿，跟我的手臂比，然後再威脅要把我的肉拿去賣， 
                                                                               
也不管我已經20開頭，還是說著這些話。 
                                                                               
理所當然，她就會在那裡。 
                                                                               
可是我忘記了，生命不是理所當然的存在。 
                                                                               
我的淚掉不停，站在那家關東煮店的前面。 
                                                                               
我才領悟到... 
                                                                               
當被愛著也愛著那些理所當然存在的人們時， 
                                                                               
請記得理所當然的告訴他們你愛她。